


Daddybats Drabbles

by silverdawn



Category: Batman (Comics), Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Drama, Family, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:39:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4637721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdawn/pseuds/silverdawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Batman has retired, but his most difficult mission has just begun... being a parent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tim's New Word

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer don't own DC blah blah blah. Enjoy oh and review please!

So I was inspired by the fic ‘Daddy Not Bats’ by Glimare – which is awesome by the way go and read it! – To write this one. A collection of batfamily drabbles. Obviously as Bruce is no longer Batman – well not all the time, this is not canon. However I will be linking it to other Medias, see if you can spot the references. There will also by arcs in this story, I love the Apprentice arc so I’m totally going to try and write one, the Titans will feature obviously and I want to explore Slade’s family as well, hint hint. Also I’ll try and get as much of the Justice League to attempt to babysit the batkids once in a while. I’m also going to have Steph and Terry in this fic, since Steph was Robin and Terry Batman, I feel they should be part of the batclan – plus having another girl to the mix of rambunctious boys plus Cass is going to be interesting. And of course Dami’s going to be in it! I’d never leave the little assassin out of the mix! Have you heard he’s getting superpowers! I do hope they’re something cool – I can’t imagine the writers would give him a lame power!  
So, as this has been done before on fanfiction multiple times I don’t own the idea. I don’t own DC either, I basically don’t own anything! Damn it sucks to be me. Well I hope you enjoy. Oh and read and review. Pretty please!! I asked nicely. Or I’ll send one of the batkids to hack into your computer! MUHAHAHHA you have been warned!  
Dick, Jason, Tim  
A NEW WORD  
“DADDY!” A hyper-sonic shriek that sounded like a banshee had just toppled to its doom echoed through the vast halls of Wayne Manor, at once pulling Bruce out of his troubling musings. He swore he could have felt the glass on the windows groan and waver by the power of the scream. It was as though Black Canary herself were in the building. Bruce closed the file on Luthor he had just been studying and slid it carefully in the top draw of his desk. The megalomaniac was a constant headache as he was trying to buy out yet another important branch of Wayne enterprises.  
“Daddy! Help! Help me daddy! Jason has my blankie! Nooooo!”  
Bruce followed the sound of the distressed voice, jogging smoothly through the halls of the manor when he found his three boys in a ruckus on the landing. Dick was dangling expertly from the crystal chandelier, a good ten/fifteen feet above the marble staircase. Jason was taunting Tim as he held out Timmy’s favourite blanket just out of the two and a half year old’s reach.  
“BLANKIE!” The toddler wailed. “Jay Jay meanie!”  
“I’ll save you Timmy!” Dick cried, “HIYA!” The ten-year-old jumped from the chandelier, which almost gave Bruce a heart attack, and caught his feet on the bannister, sliding down the marble staircase and flipping off the edge, landing perfectly.  
“He’ll never have it! I’m not Jay Jay, I’m Lex Luthor! And my evil plan on world domination is dependent on me having this BLANKET!” Jason cried.  
Bruce smirked as he watched them. Trust Jason to blame Luthor for Tim’s troubles. Waiting to enact his punishment for Dick’s chandelier jump and Jason’s teasing, the CEO decided to see whether good or evil will be victorious in this confrontation.  
Dick grinned and gently pushed Tim out of harm’s way as he stood to confront ‘Luthor’. “Oi! Lexie, I thought you were supposed to be bald?”  
“That’s right! I am bald because I’m so bad that even hair repels me. A bald coward who never washes his hands after going to the bathroom.”  
“Ewwww!” Tim, momentarily forgetting his blanket trouble, made a face, “Awfred says that’s bwad. Nauwty!”  
Jason’s eyes glinted maliciously as he smiled cheekily at the pair. “It’s cos I’m evil! This blanket will lead me to world domination. Through its power, I will become BLANKET-MAN! MUHAHAHA! Who’s going to stop me, you circus freak?”  
“No I don’t want BWANKET-MAN! I wanna blankie!” Tim began to resume his cries. Bruce was about to step forward from the shadows to comfort his youngest, when Dick came to the rescue.  
“Never fear Timbob. I, Robin, the Boy Wonder, will save you!” Dick took a battle stance in front of Timmy. Tim stopped crying and cocked his head to one side like a lost puppy.  
“Swave my bwankie from Bwankie M…man.” Tim insisted, hiccupping slightly as he recovered from his crying.  
“I promise.” Dick smiled and then turned to face Jason who smirked.  
“No bird is going to stop me. For blankets smother birds. Blanket-Man rules!” Jason lunged toward his younger brother and Dick stepped out of the way and flipped over Jason. Jason growled and the two boys scuffled, rolling over one another on the floor. Tim was screaming for ‘Robin’ to win. After about ten minutes, Dick ended up being the victor as he grabbed the blanket, although instead of giving it to Tim straight away, he tied it up in a makeshift cape around him and puffed out his chest. The ten year old then ran up the stairs, raised his arm and jumped down.  
“Luthor! You cannot win. You now will now succumb to my awesomeness. Surrender.”  
“Superman!” Jason growled. “You have won this battle! I am such a little whimp! I lose again! NOOOOOOO!” With that Jason pretended to pass out with as much drama as possible.  
“Here you go Timmy!” Dick smiled happily as he returned his little brother’s blankie.  
“Bwankie! You swaved him from Bwanket man. Fanks Superman.” Tim’s frowned as he looked around in confusion. “But where did Robin go?”  
Dick laughed. Jason too was laughing from where he lay.  
Bruce smiled and came out from the shadows, clapping as he did so. The boys whirled around, Jason and Dick looked slightly guilty as Timmy screeched, “DADDY!” and toddled to the man who scooped him up in his arms.  
“Daddy! Wobin swaved bwankie from Bwankie-Man!” Timmy cried happily, placing a wet kiss on Bruce’s cheek. Bruce smiled and glanced at his two eldest, Jason was muttering curses and Dick grinned from ear-to-ear.  
“Yes I did!” Dick said triumphantly. “I also saved Timmy from having a complete melt down.” He eyed Jason smugly and the younger boy swore under his breathe.  
“Jason.” Bruce reprimanded sharply, “If I hear one more bad word then you won’t get any desert from Alfred tonight, I’ll make sure of it. And Dick don’t jump off the chandelier again or you’ll receive the same punishment.”  
At least Dick had the decency to blush in embarrassment. Jason on the other hand crossed his arms and sighed in frustration. “Dickhead.” Jason growled at his brother, who grinned.  
“Jay? What did I just say?” Bruce glared. Jay smiled sheepishly,  
“What? His name is Dick and his head is too big for his body. So, he’s a dickhead.” Dick’s grin morphed into a scowl and he elbowed his brother fiercely.  
“Dickhead!” Tim shouted. “Dickhead! Dickhead!”  
“No Tim.” Bruce said sternly, “Bad word.” Tim merely smiled, Bruce rolled his eyes at Timmy’s expression, Jason certainly was not the best influence on his youngest.  
Dick glared at his brother. “Thanks. Timmy’s so not going to repeat this one.”  
“At least I taught him a new word.” Jason smiled smugly.  
“I wov you Dickhead!” Tim giggled as Bruce carried him away from the pair.  
As soon as Bruce was out of sight, Dick knocked Jason off his feet in one clean sweep.

Hehe. Dick’s so not happy with Jason now. Oh did anyone get the reference? I’ll give you a clue, it’s related to the Flash in a cartoon. I won’t tell you the name of the show cos it’ll be a dead giveaway. So as always, read and review and more drabbles will come to you. Until next time. I know dickhead is not a proper word per say but hey ho it still counts in my book. They added bitchingly in the Oxford dictionary last year so I wouldn’t be surprised if this in it is too!


	2. A surprise sitter... no not Syndrome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman needs a babysitter - who will get this unfortunate task?

Known to only a few Bruce had made a deal with the League when he retired from fieldwork. Bruce was the main co-ordinator behind all of their missions, the main funder and financial supporter and he also monitored their missions from time to time. Although he still trained to keep up his strength in case a cataclysmic event called for the return of Batman, he mainly worked behind the scenes but only the founding seven, including himself, knew of his existence. The rest of the League presumed Superman or Wonder Woman was behind the support and financial backing that made the Justice League possible. Oh how wrong they were. Clark would probably have to stay at the Daily Planet for another two hundred years to pay for all the property damage and all the new technology Bruce provided for the League.  
However, this deal meant that if ever Bruce Wayne, his family or Gotham needed help, preferably one of the six founders still in the League would come to his assistance. Bruce shuddered to think how many kidnapping attempts and actual kidnappings his children had had to face over the past year. It was a heck of a lot.   
Today just so happened to be one of the occasions Bruce Wayne required assistance, and just as promised, one of the Leaguers rushed to his aid. But instead of Superman like he had originally hoped, as Clark could deal with this particular mission the best, he was answered with a flash of scarlet.  
“Thank you for answering Flash.” Bruce said as Flash bounded into the Bat-cave.   
“Anytime.” The Speedster replied. “Ooh.” The Flash grinned, “This place is insane. What’s this thing do? What about this? Oh my god is that a plasma canon! We should totally bring it up to Watch Tower, I could…”  
Bruce coughed sharply, cutting the speedster’s musings short. The Flash grinned, running up to Bruce in anticipation of an important assignment.  
“It’s a real honour to meet you in person, B-man.” Flash exclaimed, “I’ve heard of all the things you’ve done. It’s incredible you don’t even have superpowers. Look, whatever this mission is, I’ll honour it with my life and will work my hardest and I won’tletyoudowncosyouarethecoolestandohmygodIdon’tevenknowwhatmsaybeav fo…ris…”  
“Barry!” Bruce yelled, causing the Flash to gape in at the man in wonder.  
“Hey. Dude how do you know my… never mind.” Barry sighed. “Was I that obvious?”  
Bruce shrugged. “Not as bad as Clark, trust me.”  
“Sweet.” Barry grinned, “Take that Boy Scout.”  
“I have an important assignment for you.”   
Barry saluted and then for the first time since he got to the Bat-cave he noticed that Bruce was wearing a tuxedo. A tux! Seriously what was this assignment?  
“I’m going to an important charity event in Gotham.” Bruce said seriously. Barry nodded enthusiastically.  
“Do you want me to be your body guard? Shall I scout the signs for any mysterious activity? Is there going to be an assassination attempt…on you! Dude no way would IletthathappenIwillbeonconstantalert.”  
Bruce glared at the hero, who felt so small under this infamous glare.  
“Do you honestly think I need a body guard, Allen.”  
Barry grinned sheepishly. “Hey, I’m just excited for the mission B-man.”   
Bruce hummed and walked towards the stairs that led to through to the mansion. Barry zipped past him, taking an extra few seconds to admire everything in the cave.  
“You guys have a dinosaur!” He shouted. “Cool! Is that Mister Freeze’s cold gun? It looks similar to the one used by Captain Cold. Omg Cisco would have a field day if he ever saw this. I gotta tell Wally too. He would…”  
Bruce glared at him as they got to the main landing. Barry’s shoulders drooped slightly like an obedient puppy – everyone felt like that under the B-man’s glare! “Right.” He mumbled. “No telling. No revealing identities. I know B-man don’t fret.”  
“Superman!” A child’s cry startled the Flash and he peered through the doorway to gaze upon a startling sight. Three children were playing in one of the many living rooms in Wayne Manor. The two eldest were arguing.  
“No Aquaman is gonna come again!” The second youngest cried. “He promised us we’ll watch Atlantis together. He wouldn’t break that promise.”  
“Yeah but dude he’s a freaking King, he was probably called here because no one else could come and due to the League’s deal with Bruce he had to come. He has to run a kingdom, he doesn’t have time to watch movies, even though it sucks he hasn’t seen Atlantis. I love that cartoon, I mean who doesn’t love Disney?”  
“Ugh. Just anything but Aladdin. If Timmy and Clark force us to sing ‘A Whole New World Again’ I will get Kryptonite from the Batcave and I will use it on him!” Jason growled.  
Dick scowled. “No you wouldn’t. But hey, remember when Timmy got freaked out by Jafa.” Jason sniggered.   
“He was mean!” Tim protested. The other two laughed.  
“A.C. is coming. He has too!” Jason insisted.  
“Nah Supes! He said was going to take me flying.” Dick bit back.  
“Aquaman.”  
“Supes.”  
“Aquaman!”  
“Superman!”  
“Uncle Hal!” Tim yelled.  
“Nuh huh Tim, Uncle Hal is off world.” Dick said. “Super…”  
Bruce gave a loud cough and the children stopped arguing and glanced over to their adopted father and grinned when they saw the speedster groan. Great. Barry thought. He was babysitting.  
“FLASH!” They yelled.  
Dick stayed back a bit whilst Tim and Jason ran up to the hero. Jason would never admit it, but he was almost drooling at the sight of the speedster. The Flash was one of his favourite heroes.  
“What was is like facing Cold that time he almost froze an entire train? Oh how much do you actually eat? And where does it all go?” Jason asked enthusiastically, the nine-year-old smiled as the hero flashed him a playful grin, although it faltered slightly at the last question. Bruce simply frowned at his son who smiled sheepishly.  
“Well, hate to brag, but Captain Cold’s pretty easy to fool. Once you learn how to dodge the ice, I simply got all the civilians out of the train before it crashed and…”  
Bruce coughed impatiently. Flash grinned sheepishly as the billionaire frowned at the hero. “Well, I have to go now, Alfred is away due to a family crisis back in England, I didn’t want to leave the kids with anyone except the people I trust.”  
Barry blanched, choking on his own cough. “You actually trust me B-man?!” He exclaimed.  
Bruce’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Of course, I wouldn’t leave just anyone with my kids. I retired from fieldwork for a reason, and this is it.” He gestured to his children who beamed up at him.  
“Daddy don’t go!” Tim wailed, “You said we could watch …movie. Awfred made cookies.”  
Bruce smiled warmly and knelt down to face his youngest who looked like he was going to cry.   
“I have to go and help some people, Timmy.” Bruce gently stroked Tim’s cheek and smiled, “But the Flash is the fastest man on the planet, he will look after you and I’ll be back home before you know it.”  
“Pwomise?” Tim’s lip trembled slightly. Bruce nodded.  
“I promise Timbo.” Bruce ruffled his son’s hair and faced his eldest.  
“Be good.” He warned, particularly eyeing Jason who was no doubt already concocting a cunning plan that would make Barry’s life a living hell. Dick merely looked up at Bruce with his innocent blue eyes. Bruce groaned, those eyes would be the death of him. Jason didn’t have such luck, but Dick could get away with bloody murder.  
“We promise.” They said and they both gave Bruce a hug around the waist. The CEO smiled and then turned to face Barry.  
“I should be back around twelve. If you can’t handle it, call Kent, he knows how to deal with them.” Bruce said.  
“What makes you think I can’t handle it?” Flash quipped, smiling smugly in reply.  
Bruce simply smirked.

Two hours later.  
“Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.” Barry muttered as he desperately tried to calm down a three year old and a devilish nine year old.  
“MORE COOKIES! MORE COOKIES! COOKIES! AWFRED ALWAYS HAS COOKIES AND MILK BEFORE BED!” Timmy shrieked as he clambered all over Barry like a monkey.  
“Yippee!” Dick cried as he swung on the chandelier for the tenth time that night. “More cookies! Flash whose better you or Quicksilver?”  
Flash physically blanched at the question. That was a ridiculous question of course he was better than some make belief character.  
“Me duh. Can he break through the time barrier? Nope. I bet he isn’t as imaginative as I am with my powers.” Barry huffed as Tim began bawling yet again.  
“But he has Magneto for a dad. I mean that’s kinda creepy that Magneto could even be a dad but still cool right?” Dick insisted, and then he whispered sniggering in Barry’s ear, “I know Babs thinks Magneto has a thing for Xavier.”  
Barry repressed a shudder. Seriously, the kids were like ten. That was just a creepy thought. “Yeah.” Barry repressed a cry and fake chuckled instead, “Cool. I mean…what…!”  
“What about you and Supes whose faster, I bet Superman is faster, sorry Flash but Uncle Clark is just de man!” Dick exclaimed, bouncing up and down on his feet. “Although you have done very cool stuff too.” He added quickly, not wanting to offend his new ‘Uncle’.  
Barry snorted. But then a sudden thought occurred to him, his one power that Superman didn’t have. “You know something kid, your Uncle Clark is cool, but he can’t time travel.”  
Dick’s eyes widened in wonder. Barry smiled, satisfied he had this kid. But his hopes were quickly dashed as he was about to attempt to calm Timmy down again, Dick shouted,  
“So you have a TARDIS? That’s so cool dude! I want to see it! Is it bigger on the inside like they really say?! My favourite TV show is coming to life!”  
Barry groaned. “Er… that’s not exactly how my power works….what the….” He was interrupted by Jason as the boy ran into the room, cackling madly as he ran around the house with a nerfgun. “Look what I managed to sneak from Bruce. I actually beat the World’s Greatest Detective! Fire in the whole!” Jason fired the toy weapon.  
Barry cringed as something shattered Barry moaned. Bruce was going to kill him! Note to self. Never ever ever ever ever ever give the Wayne kids cookies or chocolate or sugar in general an hour before going to bed. He thought Wally was bad. Barry then realised Dick had wandered off somewhere. Great. Just great.  
“Jason!” Barry yelled as he sped towards the crazy nine-year old, “Where on earth did you get that gun?”   
Jason smiled devilishly, “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” Jason fired at Barry, instead of hitting his babysitter like he had planned, the plastic bullet hit Timmy on the cheek instead. The little boy began to wail miserably. Barry almost screamed. Almost.  
“No. No err… hush-a-bye tot… er … Tim!” Barry said soothingly.  
“BONSAI!” Dick yelled and he charged into the drawing room, with him, Dick had a large bucket of water balloons filled with… what were they filled with? “Paint bomb!” Dick laughed, “First one to hit Uncle Barry with one of these wins.”  
“You’re on.” Jason grinned.  
Barry couldn’t deal with this. He just couldn’t. But he couldn’t get mad at the kids either. SUPERMAN HELP! He mentally screeched. He was never going to live this down.  
Eventually Barry got the three rascals into bed. He had had to change Tim’s sheets as the toddler had wet the bed and sit with Jason for an hour or so as the kid had had a panic attack. Barry checked the time, it was five to twelve. He still had time to clear all the mess up. Luckily he had super-speed so he could clean it all up before Bruce comes back. That was when he heard the door and footsteps downstairs. Barry gulped. He could almost feel the batglare on him. As Dick would say, he was in de shit.

Hehe. I love the Flash but I did give him a hard time. I mean, I would not want to face Bruce Wayne when his Manor would be covered in paint from the paint bombs, a vase or two smashed and his discovery of Jason’s nerfgun.   
Flash: I would rather fight crime than babysit those kids again. Imagine pairing them up with Wally, that would just be insane!  
Me: Thank you for that brilliant suggestion.  
Flash: No! No I didn’t mean… crap… bye…  
Me: MUHAHAHAHAHA. I’m so evil.


End file.
